The lockbox sits on the floor in front of me. The metal clasp calmly holds the lid firmly against the stiff walls, and I imagine that it knows how important what is inside is. I imagine that the box does its job so well simply because it knows how precious its cargo truly is. I imagine this, but I know that only I realize how important the contents of that box are, and it gives me comfort to pretend otherwise.
I couldn’t watch the suffering anymore. Every day I would walk outside and see people cold in the streets, hungry and crying out for someone to help them. Some days I was able to ignore them, go about my business in peace. But most days weren’t those days. Most days I took their pain and made it my own. I felt every bit of pain that they felt, and it made me work harder, think faster, create more intricately.
And I have created something that will help them. It sits in the box in front of me, contained securely by a small metal clasp. Easily opened by a flick of a finger, and my plan will be implemented. I’ve tested it, and it works. It works better than I could have ever hoped.
So why do I wait? My Prolonged Internal Elation System works. It gives the feeling of fulfillment. A feeling of peace and happiness. Ever since testing it on myself, I have felt better than I have in years. Miles better than any time I can actually remember. I have a smile on my face right now, and I know I should be riddled with anxiety, but I’m not. I’m sitting here, looking at the box containing my creation, remembering its purpose, but not implementing it for that purpose. I don’t know why. But that doesn’t even worry me.
Perhaps the system works too well? Perhaps it works so well that I’m not even worrying about what it has actually done to me. Perhaps I should worry more about what it will do to the people outside? Will it help them the way it has helped me? Will their worries melt away, as mine have, and be replaced with the joy that I feel?
Do I feel joy? I know I feel joy. But how do I know that I actually feel joy? Is the Prolonged Internal Elation System just telling me that I feel joy when I actually don’t? I know that I feel joy, and I know that I am wondering if I actually feel joy, and I know that I should be worried about how I am thinking right now. I’m not, though.
The Prolonged Internal Elation System is amazing. I know this. I sit here staring at the box containing it knowing that inside is the thing that will change the world more than anything has in history. The automobile, the airplane, antibiotics, irrigation, all of these pale in comparison to the system I have created. I have felt its effects. I have known its power. I feel it now. It flows through my veins and weighs in my body. It is a part of me, and it has satisfied me in a way that nothing ever has.
It will frighten people. Some will claim that it is unnatural, an affront to nature. They will resist it, and that’s fine. They will curse it, but I and others will know the truth. My system will save those suffering. It will cleanse their sorrows. It will sate their hunger. It will give purpose to their dreary lives. I have achieved my purpose, and that purpose is in that box in front of me.
It will be so simple. I just have to reach forward and open the clasp. A small flick of my finger, and the PIES will be unleashed.
But I can’t move. The smile on my face will not fade. I feel a weight in my stomach that I cannot fight. However, that doesn’t worry me. I try to lift my arms, but they are lead against my strength. I don’t mind. I feel the peace that my PIES has given me. How can I not? The warmth that I feel deep inside, it is a gift. A gift that I have given myself, and I am grateful. I do not worry that I cannot move. I am not upset that I feel my heartbeat slowing. I am so happy. I do not regret that I will not give the world my gift. Someone will find me, and they will wonder what it is that made me so very joyful, so much at peace. And they will see my lockbox. And with a flick of the clasp, they shall unleash my gift to the world. I am so very happy.