For those who didn’t know, they are making a new Point Break movie!  And the trailer’s here!  And it looks terrible!

Now, I haven’t seen the original Point Break.  I’ve meant to, I really have, but I haven’t gotten around to it.  That being said, I can say that the original movie looks WAY better:

Everything about the original looks better: the charisma of the characters, the premise, the writing.  All of it looks ten times better and more fun in the original 90’s movie.  Heck, it was sexier, and it had Gary Busey in it!  Friend of the blog Jason Wendleton wrote about how amazing the film is here: Swayze Crazy.  Why in the hell did they decide to remake this film?  Did the studios learn nothing from the Red Dawn fiasco?  Even the Odinson himself, Chris Hemsworth, couldn’t compare to Swayze in that movie.

Pictured: A Cautionary tale that was just, super-ignored.
Pictured: A Cautionary tale that was super-ignored.

Not only can you not top Swayze, but the new movie’s cast can’t beat Reeves, Busey, nor McGinley!  I mean, I know it’s hard for actors to turn down roles, but who would look at this as anything but career poison?  “Oh, it’s a role the Patrick fucking Swayze made popular in his prime?  Yeah, I’ll encourage that comparison.  How could that go wrong?”  -Edgar Ramirez, apparently.

Normally I would say something about reserving judgement until after a movie comes out, but I feel pretty safe in saying that this movie is going to be a giant pile of shit.  Even if the stunts are impressive, which, if they actually do some of the “extreme” stunts for real they very well could be, I’m betting that is about all that this movie will have going for it.

Unless new, worse Bodhi pulls off his own face at the end and is revealed to be Gary Busey, in which case I will eat my words, this movie will suck butts.