The Lancer: The Best Weapon in Video Gaming

It’s Debate Day here on Trope and Dagger!  This week we’re picking sides on the very best weapon in all of video gaming!  To read up on Andy’s usual nonsense, you can click right here: Biggoron’s Sword: The Best Video Game Weapon.  Now, let me tell you why my choice is the absolute best video game weapon.

You and your best friend find yourselves in a dark cave.  You’ve been fighting this war for far too long and you’re both exhausted, but you know that you have to press on.  Deep inside this cave are terrors, giant monsters that want nothing more than to rip you both limb from limb, but you are unafraid, because you have your Lancer at the ready.  In fact, you see a figure directly in front of you, pale and wielding a gun, hunting for you.  But you have the drop on him.  You could shoot him in the back from here, but instead you step out and begin dashing towards him.  You pull your gun up and rip the chainsaw lance to life with a “RRRRRRRRR!!!”  The figure turns to face you, but it is too late.  Blood flies everywhere as you dig your chainsaw into his torso, his monstrous, black eyes wide with the knowledge that these are his last moments.  He flies apart and you stand, victorious, your Lancer in hand.

"Back in your hole!"

“Back in your hole!”

This is an instance that I have come to know very well over the years by playing the Gears of War franchise. You’re fighting hordes of underground dwellers that have invaded the surface, and the greatest weapon at your disposal in none other than the Lancer. It’s a remarkably simple idea: Gun + Chainsaw.  It’s truly beautiful in its simplicity. For years, humans have been putting blades on the ends of guns, so why in the world wouldn’t we upgrade to a chainsaw? (For the record, I realize that this is impractical in the real world, but for a video game world, sure why not?)

Now, the Lancer is not the most powerful weapon in the game.  There are destructively powerful shotguns and orbital lasers that you can employ, not to mention devastating sniper rifles and rocket launchers.  So why is the Lancer the best weapon in the game? Much less ALL of the games?

I mean, I think I doodled this in a notebook in 5th grade.

I mean, I think I doodled this in a notebook in 5th grade.

First off, the Lancer is the most versatile weapon in the game.  From far away or up close and personal, the Lancer has you covered.  You want to shoot from across the battlefield?  The Lancer can do that.  Or would you prefer to look into your enemy’s eyes as you cut him to pieces?  The Lancer’s got your back there, too!  No matter the situation, it’s never a bad idea to have a Lancer on hand.  Additionally, the Gears of War franchise does something great with the reloading mechanic. When you reload, should you press the reload button at the right moment, the animation is cut short and your weapons get a damage bonus for the next clip! Should you fuck it up, though, your gun jams and your reload takes extra time.  It’s a genius feature that turns reloading into a small mini-game, which automatically gives all the Gears of War guns a leg up on other shooters.

Secondly, Lancers are damn fun to use.  The weapon fires very smoothly and is accurate enough that you can deal out serious damage from far away.  Not as accurate as a sniper rifle or even the hammerburst, but you can still nail an enemy in the head with the Lancer without much trouble.  But the real pleasure comes when you’re using that chainsaw.  Revving it up and charging an enemy is one of the most exhilarating experiences in all of gaming.  Not only because you can cut an enemy to pieces, but because there is a good amount of risk involved in the attempt.  Should you get shot as you’re approaching an enemy, your chainsaw will fail and you will be left exposed and vulnerable.  The best weapons aren’t weapons that make you gods, after all, they are weapons that are fun and creative.

And let you shoot monsters in the fucking face.

But, you know, still let you shoot monsters in the fucking face.

Third, this weapon is great because anyone can use it, including enemies.  You will often come across locust warriors who are sporting Lancers of their own, and they are some of the most formidable enemies in the game.  You definitely have to employ extra strategy when dealing with enemies wielding Lancers, as they are especially deadly.  They give you a taste of your own medicine, and can cause one of the most terrifying encounters in the game: the Chainsaw Duel.  Yes, should you try and chainsaw an enemy as they are trying to chainsaw you, the panic-inducing chainsaw duel occurs, where you frantically mash B to try and overpower your enemy.  You don’t press fast enough? You are dead as disco.  No coming back from being chopped into little pieces, I’m afraid.

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!

So sure, it may not be a shark launcher or an unstoppable energy sword, but being super powerful isn’t what makes this weapon great.  It’s an excellent gun that you can use throughout the entire game, should you so choose.  It keeps you engaged with it’s multiple capabilities and the exciting reload mechanic.  And it keeps you excited with the prospect of cutting a monster to itty bitty teensy weensy bloody wuddy chunks.  And what more can you possibly ask for?

This is why the Lancer from Gears of War is the Best Weapon in Video Gaming.

Thanks for reading why the Lancer is the best weapon in all of video gaming!  So what do you think?  Am I cutting through the bull or is Andy?  Be sure to sound off in our poll down below!

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3 thoughts on “The Lancer: The Best Weapon in Video Gaming

  1. Pingback: E3 Day One Highlights | Trope and Dagger

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